I am downright giddy with sunshine streaming out of my pores. Seriously, if you are in a funk, I would steer clear of me as I will unintentionally, but relentlessly, annoy you in my deliriously euphoric stupor. When I am this high — the only other time that ranks superior was when I gave birth to my son — I truly am inebriated. And, yes, irritating to those who are in a bad mood.
After 8 months of engagement, my fiancé and I chose wedding date: June 17, 2017. 6/17/17 on monogrammed anything. Yes!
It took us some time to get here. We wavered between periods of contemplation, mental anguish, and over-analyzation and periods of pure contentment, relishing our engaged status with a collective “we’ll decide when we decide” attitude. Being in our 40s with kids only compounded the delay; like so many others, we are chronically overtired, overworked, and over-committed. Scheduling a wedding between work, school, camp, sports, and play dates carries a difficulty score of 10 for all you Olympics enthusiasts.
There was also the question about whether we should go through this process, or just descend on town hall on any given Tuesday to do the deed. My girls — the ones who were there to pick me up after I tripped down the aisle — are overjoyed. They witnessed me fall effortlessly, involuntarily, irrevocably in love for the first time with my fiancé. Now that I’ve experienced a connection of souls; a strikingly beautiful, complex yet simple, awe inspiring kind of adoration, it’s obvious I never fully gave myself to anyone else. My friends celebrate my neverending butterflies with a surprising level of enthusiasm to search for overpriced, matchy-matchy bridesmaids dresses once again.
While I have been mostly basking in my disturbing level of happiness, there was one b*tch who pretty much told me I should opt for a quickie ceremony in a black dress as a divorcee with child. But it’s not just my day, it’s my fiancé’s too…and he’s never been married. Mike always says he waited 42 years for me, his bashert (apparently all the other women he dated weren’t enough of a hot mess for him), and will only marry once. He has a huge, incredibly excited family, tons of friends, and was always a groomsman but never a groom. As such, we are doing it up!
So, how did we choose our day? There were no tarot cards, voodoo dolls, numerological studies, astrological comparisons, family votes, or visits to temple to pray on it. It just kind of happened. Without realizing it, we created our own wedding date checklist:
1. The numbers.I Met the Love of my Life through HuffPost when he responded to my Top 10 Rules for Dating a Single or Divorced Mom post. We lived 300 miles from each other at the time and had nothing/no one in common….or so we thought.
Turns out my fiancé and I were connected by a series of dates. He shares a birthday with my deceased, beloved mom: September 7. His cherished grandmother died on the day my son was born: May 19. My mom departed this earth on his son’s birthday: November 7. Given our inexplicably intwined dates, this one had to deliver.
June 17, 2017 has two 7s in it; one for my fiancé and one for my mom. It also falls in line with other memorable dates: We started talking on February 18. We got engaged on December 19. When we get married on June 17, they will line right up (though not in order); 17, 18, 19.
2. The season. Between us, we have two boys, 6- and 8-years-old. The free time they have is fleeting, like a Kim Kardashian fully clothed sighting. They have a week here or there for school vacations, so summer was a no-brainer.
3. The venue. Mike and I still have trouble going to sleep every night because we enjoy each other so much. I know, it’s nauseating (hence my disclaimer at the beginning of the post), but it’s fact. Once the kids are in bed and we have our time, we are up until the wee hours of the morning doing everything from waxing philosophical to listening to 80s music to watching movies to debating politics to solidifying my status as a non-virgin bride-to-be…but, most of all, we are talking. And, of course, our wedding is a hot topic. We contemplated getting married in Boston, where we live; in Ogunquit, Maine, where we got engaged; on a boat, on a beach, and in hundreds of different scenarios, but ultimately settled on Mike’s hometown of Freeport, New York. it just feels right. Once we picked the location, we made sure our preferred venue was available on our date before we made it official.
4. The timing. When you’re drunk in love, you just want to get married. You want to make that commitment yesterday because the feelings are so intense, so strong, so forever that you just want to slip the wedding band on right now. We feel this way. We almost got married in secret several times because we want to be husband and wife. We considered planning the wedding quickly for those reasons but talked ourselves out of it. For us and our boys, savoring the engagement makes sense. The extra time will help us balance our life responsibilities with wedding planning so it is enjoyable, not stressful.
5. The kids. Our children are our life. We asked them for their preferences — small or sizable wedding, school vacation or recess — and they chose a party in the summer. My son routinely practices his breakdancing moves, microphone skills, and comedic timing in anticipation of our wedding, like he’s auditioning for America’s Got Talent. Giving him until June 17, 2017 will ensure he puts on one hell of a show…one the fake friend who told me to wear anything but white will miss.
How did you choose a date for your wedding?
This article was originally published on The Huffington Post here.